Category: Writers Block
Hi everyone. Sorry this is on a new topic thread. I did it in order to make it all flow ceaselessly under the appropriate topic header. Rest assured I won't b e creating a topic for each subsequent act. I thank all of you for your reading of my piece. If anyone has any comments, suggestioins or critisisms throughout, please let me know. I hope you all enjoy this. I know it's a script, so it won't be as descriptive as some of my real writing, so I appologize for that.
Guardian
OPENING CREDITS
An ornate tome opens to a page half covered with a moving picture of murder and mayhem amidst the burning buildings of a metropolitan city.
THE CHRONICLER (V.O.)
August 6th, 2084. On that day Earth fell into chaos. Over three quarters of humanity perished over the space of three days. The Divyre Elheim, our blessed creator was powerless to save us. In the end, we who survived were gathered together by a savior, the Celestial Migrator.
The page turns. A multitude gathers before a man clothed in a white robe. His hair is long and white, and kindness and love show in his face and mannerisms. He reaches out to the multitude and a white glow emanates from his body.
THE CHRONICLER (V.O. CONT’D)
He carried us away from our devastated world, but he was never seen again. We were taken to Pantheus, a world as similar to our own as it was different.
The page turns, showing Scenes that are yet to be determined.
THE CHRONICLER (V.O. CONT’D)
That was five hundred years ago; bloody pages from a previous chapter in human history. Now we live in relative harmony with the Cyrom, the custodians of our new home. It is a golden age … but neither peace nor contention, partners in an infinite dance are ever content to let the other lead for long.
ACT ONE
EXT. UPPER HAVEN – DAY
Aerophants (scaly organic vehicles) of all shapes and sizes soar above the pristine upper city, maneuvering along airways designated by neon beams emanating from tall slender obelisks. Humans, Therrians and Magnians go about their days amidst numerous parks and gardens that give the city life. Throughout the view:
THE CHRONICLER (V.O.)
The city of Haven. A monument to the peace and acceptance that had taken five hundred years to achieve. It is the center of commerce, the home of technological advancement and the symbol of a golden age well into its third generation.
A carrier (a four-seater Aerophant) passes a white tower topped with a dome and gilded metal cross. A sign on its front proclaims “Church of the Healing Redeemer”. The carrier descends towards Haven Memorial Cemetery.
THE CHRONICLER (V.O. CONT’D)
But even the most magnificent façade can not hide the pain rot by loss and regret, and to those whom it touches, peace is only a word.
EXT. HAVEN MEMORIAL CEMETERY: Aerophant stable – DAY
The carrier lands. Beams of energy tether the creature to a metal pillar. The carrier’s doors iris open. ANGELES CREID (human, 35, tall and wolf-like with a hard face and kind eyes) steps out, leading Theresa Creid (Human, 7, tiny, shy and adorable) by the hand. SHAUN CREID (Human, 40, short, slight with a round boyish face) follows, carrying a bouquet of silver flowers.
EXT. HAVEN MEMORIAL CEMETARY – DAY
The cemetery grounds are immaculately groomed. The trio walks among the headstones. Theresa skips ahead of the men.
ANGELES
Careful, Tees! Not so fast!
THERESA
I know! I will!
SHAUN
Hey bro, is everything alright? You’ve been real quiet.
ANGELES
Yeah. (BEAT) I just hate bringing her here. She’s so young. She shouldn’t even understand this.
SHAUN
She’s got a strong mind, just like her dad. She’ll be fine.
Theresa stops before a headstone.
THERESA
Come on!
Theresa kneels before the headstone. An inscription reads “Laura Creid, 435-499.”
THERESA (CONT’D)
Hi Grandma! Are you having a good day? We brought you some flowers. We learned all about Aluron the White at school yesterday. Mommy said if I’m a good girl, Aluron will let me see you for real one day. So I’m going to be really really good, okay?
The men approach. Angeles looks down at his daughter and ruffles her hair. Shaun kneels, placing the flowers at the foot of the grave.
SHAUN
Don’t worry bro, she’ll be fine.
ANGELES
I guess. I just wish I could keep her safe and innocent forever.
SHAUN
The perpetually innocent child, a monument to the sinless dawn of human kind.
ANGELES
Huh? What was that?
SHAUN
Just some preacher nonsense about a place called Eden, from the old world I think.
ANGELES
I like it.
He looks down at the inscription.
ANGELES (CONT’D)
(BEAT) I miss her. I thought the feeling would pass.
SHAUN
I know. Sometimes it feels like last year was just yesterday.
ANGELES
I spent most of my life hating her. None of that seems to matter anymore.
Silence. Theresa suddenly leaps to her feet.
THERESA
Daddy! Uncle Shaun!
ANGELES
Tees, what’s wrong?
THERESA
Grandma’s here! Can you feel her?
SHAUN
I sure can!
Shaun throws Angeles an encouraging look.
ANGELES
Sure Tees (BEAT) I can feel her.
THERESA
Really? Yay!
An awkward pause. Angeles abruptly removes a chatterbox similar to Nick’s from his pocket and thumbs a stud.
ANGELES
answer.
A window opens, showing ALICIA CREID (30, human, pretty)
ALICIA
Hi sweetheart. Really sorry to interrupt you guys, but something weird happened in the Undercity and apparently Rok thinks the regular Undercity patrols can’t handle it.
ANGELES
Great. Who’s destroying what down there today?
ALICIA
If only it made that much sense. Anyway I’ll be there in a minute. Oh, and Shaun is welcome to join us, but Rok didn’t think it would be necessary, so it’s his call. Love you.
The window disappears.
ANGELES
Great. A nice romantic stroll in the Undercity. One day I’d like a real vacation.
SHAUN
Trouble in our palace’s dirty toilet, huh?
ANGELES
Apparently. Want to come along?
SHAUN
Naw. I’d like to stay for a bit. But feel free to call if things look tense.
ANGELES
Alright. Would you mind taking Theresa to Lyra’s then?
SHAUN
No problem.
Angeles leans down and kisses Theresa’s forehead.
ANGELES
Daddy’s got to go to work for a bit. Uncle Shaun’s going to take you to Lyra’s. Mommy and I will pick you up tonight okay?
Theresa smiles, and puts an arm around Shaun.
THERESA
Okay Daddy. Me and Uncle Shaun will stay and talk to Grandma. Love you.
ANGELES
Love you too, sweetie.
EXT. HAVEN MEMORIAL CEMETERY: AEROPHANT STABLE – DAY
Angeles clips a silver badge to the front of his shirt. A black alloy spreads from the badge over his body, meshing with his clothes and forming a shiny black body suit that covers him from neck to toe, accentuating his forceps, triceps, abdomen and pectorals.
A Carrier with the HPA insignia (a stylized silver shield super-imposed over a featureless humanoid figure) on its front and sides) lands silently beside him.. Its entry sphincter opens and Angeles jumps in.
INT. HPA carrier– DAY
ANGELES
Hi sweetie. I asked Shaun to take Tees to Lyra’s.
Angeles and Alicia (who wears the same form-fitting uniform) kiss quickly as Angeles buckles up.
ALICIA
Oh good. How was it today?
ANGELES
Not getting any easier.
The carrier ascends on beams of energy. Silver particles travel between two crystal rods below its underbelly.
EXT. UPPER HAVEN – DAY
The carrier travels through the city, and the view switches between this and the interior during the conversation.
ALICIA
I’m sorry. I know it’s hard.
ANGELES
I’ll be okay. Usually it doesn’t get to me. But every time I see her grave I think about how terrible I was to her. Sometimes I wish I could have gone on hating her forever
ALICIA
Really? Why’s that? You wanted her acceptance. And you got it. She was really proud of you towards the end.
ANGELES
I know. And I’m grateful. But if I could hate her, I wouldn’t have to feel so terrible about all the wasted years.
Alicia squeezes his hand.
ALICIA
That’s why you have Tees and I. You have a lifetime to give and receive the love and affection you missed.
ANGELES
Yeah. I guess you’re right. (BEAT) So tell me about this urgent situation in the Undercity.
The carrier approaches an enormous glass tube sticking out of the ground. It flies easily into it and descends to Lower Haven.
EXT. LOWER HAVEN STREETS – DAY
The Undercity is grittier, livelier and shadier than Upper Haven. Many people stop what they are doing to gaze uneasily after the carrier.
ALICIA
I don’t know much. A Therrian came home to find his human room-mate dead and their apartment ransacked. He called the HPA to report it.
ANGELES
That’s it? That happens every day.
ALICIA
Well apparently it was enough to get the Administrator’s attention.
ANGELES
Krais ordered this?
ALICIA
That’s what Rok said – we’re here.
The carrier comes to rest in front of a shabby-looking apartment building. The two head towards the building. Each carries a holstered EPW (ether projectile weapon), shock stick and scabbarded sword. As they enter:
ALICIA
The guy lives in 302. His name is Naran Zell
INT. SHABBY APARTMENT – DAY
The two climb the dirty apartment to the third floor. As they do:
ANGELES
What a dump. This place needs to be condemned.
ALICIA
But then where would the rats live?
Angeles knocks on the door of 302. No answer.
ANGELES
Peace-enforcement! Open up!
NARAN ZELL (a Therrian in his mid twenties) slowly opens the door.
ALICIA
Naran Zell?
Naran nods.
ALICIA (CONT’D)
I’m Agent Alicia Creid. This is my partner Angeles Creid.
NARAN
Same last names? That’s unusual.
ANGELES
It happens.
NARAN
You guys are real peace-enforcers, right?
ALICIA
Impersonating an HPA agent is a death sentence. What do you think?
NARAN
Yeah I know that. Sorry (BEAT) Come in.
INT. NICK’S APARTMENT – DAY
The place has not been cleaned, and Nick’s body still lays pinned under the sofa. Angeles stops short. Flashback.
INT. CLUTTERED KITCHEN – NIGHT
LAURA CREID (Early sixties) lies in the corner of a kitchen with pots, drawers and other odds and ends scattered around her. Blood leaks from one ear and both nostrils, and her eyes have hemorrhaged. End flashback
INT. NICK’S APARTMENT – DAY
ALICIA (TO ANGELES)
You okay?
ANGELES
What? Oh yeah, I’m fine.
NARAN
Wow. Didn’t think anything could rattle you guys.
ANGELES
Looks like quite a party. What happened?
NARAN
Wish I knew. I’ve been on vacation for the last week. I came home to this. Nick’s really been a slob lately, and I was too angry about the mess to even see the blood for a moment. I thought he was just passed out again.
ANGELES
I’m going to have a look around. I hope you didn’t touch him.
NARAN
No way! I’m not an idiot.
Angeles approaches the body.
ALICIA
You seem pretty calm about all this.
NARAN
Wish I could fool myself as well.
ALICIA
Spare me the small talk, Naran. I’m an Animist. I can read your feelings as if you were speaking them to me. SO please be straight with me.
Naran’s eyes widen.
ALICIA
Better. Don’t be so surprised. Humans born with the Gaia Spark aren’t as uncommon as they used to be. Now, why are you so calm? If I came home to a dead body I’d certainly be worried.
NARAN
Alright (BEAT) Truth is I always expected something like this would happen. Nick’s really been losing it lately.
ALICIA
How?
NARAN
He never did anything around here, he started coming home every day and losing himself in one of those role-playing Encephalon communities. He hasn’t even paid his share of the rent for the past two months.
Angeles searches Nick’s pockets, finding a hand-written note, reading: Rap $150, 26235.
ALICIA (O.S.)
How long has this been going on?
NARAN (O.S.)
Maybe six months. I tried talking to him, but he just brushed me off.
Angeles holds up the crumpled paper.
ANGELES
Who hand writes anymore?
ALICIA examines the paper.
ALICIA
Sloppy. Know anything about this? I’m guessing Nick didn’t make a habit of keeping handwritten notes?
NARAN
Not that I know of. Looks like someone’s contact frequency. But what’s that other stuff?
ALICIA
Why don’t you tell us?
NARAN
Because I don’t know, alright?
ALICIA
You’re sure? Impeding an HPA investigation is –
NARAN
Punishable by eighty years in detention or daily dismemberment – whatever. Look, I told you I don’t know.
ANGELES (O.S.)
Might as well leave it, ALICIA. If he’s lying, we’ll be back. For now I think this should tell us what we need to know.
He holds up Nick’s Chatterbox.
ANGELES (CONT’D TO NARAN)
I’m going to memorize your friend’s energy signature, then we’ll be on our way. What was his last name?
NARAN
Parker. (BEAT) Sorry I can’t help more – wait, you’re not going to leave him here are you?
Angeles traces patterns over Nick’s body. His hands begin to glow.
ALICIA (O.S.)
No. He’ll be coming with us.
The glow fades. Angeles grows agitated.
ANGELES
Interesting how you neglected to tell us he was a manipulator, Naran.
NARAN
What? You serious?
ANGELES
Like a brain tumor. I sensed faint traces of an under-developed Gaia Spark.
NARAN
Wow! I honestly had no idea!
ALICIA
It’s true Angeles. If it was underdeveloped, Nick might have grown up never knowing his untapped potential. I wonder how the Academy missed him.
ANGELES
Maybe the underdevelopment is due to a biological defect rather than lack of use. We’ll soon see. – Cenns, some help, please?
Swirling blue pixels coalesce into the tall androgynous form of AVATAR CENNS, who closely resembles a tailless Therrian.
CENNS
What can I do for you my fleshy human friends?
ANGELES
Transport this body to the COA lab for analysis.
CENNS
You woke me up just for that?
ANGELES
Well there’s also this.
He hands over Nick’s chatterbox. It floats just above Cenns’s palm, enclosed in a blue glow.
ANGELES (CONT’D)
See if you can break through the chatterstream encryption and give us access to his personal unit. Leave the unit on my desk.
CENNS
Never a challenge. We Anima are the chatterstream. Consider it done.
CENNS touches the body which glows with the same blue aura, then both disappear. Alicia touches Angeles’ arm and points to the door. Angeles looks uncertain. Alicia cups her hand to her ear and rapidly points at her self, Angeles and Naran. Angeles nods.
The agents rush for the door. Naran looks bewildered.
INT. SHABBY APARTMENT – DAY
The agents open the door in time to see GODRA (a Magnian mercenary) ducking around a corner.
ALICIA
Freeze! HPA!
The agents draw their swords and EPWs. Angeles’s sword is immediately sheathed in high-velocity winds and crackling lightning. He dashes forward; Alicia follows. Godra fires a hissing beam of energy which Angeles easily absorbs with his sword.
ANGELES
Wrong choice!
Angeles turns the corner, raising his sword. An ether beam hits him in the stomach. He drops his sword and sags, clutching his stomach. The weapon shimmers, and the power engulfing it dissipates.
END OF ACT ONE.
Thank you for reading. More to follow upon request.
I want to see more! It's really cool! And you write well despite it being a script!
This is a good beginning, though I don't know much about play or script writing. I deal mainly with straight prose. However, I do like the sci/fi theme. I know there really isn't a lot of description in plays, but you might want to try describing the carrier things a bit more. Somehow, I kept thinking they were some sort of air cars, but then you said the creature was tethered to the ground at the cemetery. Also, if it is a creature, how are humanoids riding inside it? I mean wouldn't that be inside its stomach? So why wouldn't they be riding on it instead?
Sorry, I'm probably reading to much into this. As I said my thing isn't scripts.
However, you use the "beat" word a lot. Does this refer to something in your world, some special of term, or what? Could you explain it or delete it as it's a bit awkward reading a sentence with that suddenly in the middle of the wording. Sort of interrupts the sentence flow.
Other than that, nice work in the rest of it, the weapons, the psy abilities and the appearance of the blue creature.
Oh, in the beginning, the prologue you say that there are overlords to the new world the humans were transported to, but then you go on to say three races. Might want to clarify this and/or describe the three races.
I'll watch for the next part.
Chastity
Thanks Leia and CHinchillac. Glad you guys are liking this
hinchilac, thank you for bringing my attention to the inconsistancies. I forgot to fix them. Originally the air riders were technological, simply machines. But I'm working on another part of this story s regular prose which takes place a while after this script, and I got the idea to make them more organic creatures. They are alive, but they still function as machines. They are biological ctreatures of a sort, but also were they created by a race on this world who is no more. This is kind of getting into a lot of back story, but basically, I forgot to keep the air riders consistant thorughout the script. I'll definately have to do that.
As for the word beat, its a script writing word that I have to keep. It means the same thing as an elipsis "..." don't know why they make you write "beat" instead of just using ..., but they do sadly. Thanks again for the comments
Guardian
Thanks for clearing that up. I guess I always thought of writing plays and stuff was just using normal prose. I didn't know you were writing this in some sort of scripting language. Yeah, that's kind of stupid having that beat word in there cause it breaks up the flow a bit. Good luck with the next part.
I knoww what you mean. Anyway this will be the last scrip I'm sure. The rest of my postings will be prose pieces.
And here is act 3 of 5
ACT TWO
INT. SHABBY APARTMENT – DAY
Alicia steadies Angeles as he stumbles back.
ALICIA
You okay?
ANGELES
Fine. Going to have one hell of a bruise though. Bastard must have had another EPW on him
ALICIA
You’re just lucky he missed your head!
Angeles retrieves and sheaths his sword which does not energize when he touches it.
ANGELES
Could have absorbed a head shot.
ALICIA
You’re never that reckless. What’s going on? You’ve been acting strange ever since we got here.
Angeles walks down the hall, rubbing his stomach and wincing.
ANGELES
Well I’ve just been shot.
Alicia follows.
ALICIA
Something’s bothering you, and it’s making you sloppy – hey what are you doing?
Angeles pulls out his chatterbox as they retrace their steps to the entrance.
ANGELES
Contact. Frequency 2 6 2 35 – I’m seeing who’s on the other end of that number we found.
ALICIA (MUTTERING)
Sure, bottle it all up.
A vid window opens, showing ECNA, a green female Avatar
ECNA
This is the Encephalon Communications Network Assistant. The frequency you are contacting is not tied to any communication system.
ANGELES
Was it tied to anything within the past year?
ECNA
Certainly. However the owner’s identity is protected by another Anima and I am unable to disclose that information.
ANGELES
Maybe I should just have our Avitar dig it out of the Anima’s mass consciousness!
ECNA
Animus protocol dictates that no single Anima may access our gestalt mind to obtain information unrelated to his or her designated occupation.
ANGELES
You take your job far too damn seriously Ecna.
ECNA
Animus protocol dictates that –
ANGELES
Stick your protocol up your pixilated ass!
ECNA
I am sorry, sir. Let me assure you that –
ANGELES
Disconnect!
Angrily puts away his chatterbox and kicks open the apartment’s front door.
ANGELES
Why can’t the Anima designate a more helpful Avatar for the job.
EXT. UPPER HAVEN – DAY
The HPA carrier soars out of a glass tube and speeds across the city as the lively reporter Jeremiah MACDOWL speaks from its radio.
JEREMIAH (O.S.)
Good afternoon haven! This is Jeremiah McDowell reporting live from Liberty Square, where preparations for Union week are well-underway! One hundred years ago our very own King Lorenzo and the Therrian Matriarch Korandia realized their dream of unity between us and the Cyrom, and thus was born the greatest city on Pantheus!
A sign suspended in the air reads ‘Liberty Square’ and an enormous elegant neon banner proclaims ‘Welcome to Freedom Spire’.
JEREMIAH (IN BACKGROUND)
Senator Vartelose of our beloved Guiding Hand has assured this reporter that no expense will be spared to make this year’s Union Week the best one ever!
With mention of the Guiding hand, a Tall hourglass shaped tower looms ahead. At its apex, amidst a sprawling roof garden, three pastel spires (one topped by a glass dome) jut high above the city. The upper half of the main hourglass structure is the HPA headquarters, protected by a plethora of criss-crossing crimson energy beams. The carrier heads there.
INT. HPA CARRIER – DAY
Angeles turns the broadcast off.
ANGELES
Great. Another excuse for a bunch of drunks to dance naked in the streets again.
Alicia opens her mouth to speak, then thinks twice and sighs in frustration.
The carrier hovers before the HPA HQ’s energy screen.
A small window obscures the bottom right of the carrier’s front window. LELAND STAR, A middle-aged, pudgy and nerdy human) smiles.
LELAND
Afternoon love birds – Wow, Angeles, you look like crap.
ANGELES
Sure Leland (BEAT) whatever.
LELAND
Hey, I’m just saying.
ANGELES
Lower the screen and let us in, please.
LELAND
You got it. Come on in.
A few beams wink off, then on again after the carrier has passed through.
EXT. HPA HQ – DAY
The carrier lands, and Alicia and Angeles exit.
ANGELES
Check the COA lab and find out what Dr. Navara has learned. I’ll search Nick’s and Naran’s profiles. We’ll meet in Rok’s office in half an hour.
INT. CONSORTIUM OF LIBERTY HQ:MEETING CHAMBER – DAY
A large stone chamber with dim, flickering lights and a distinct underground feel, complete with conference table and rather comfortable-looking chairs.
Godra (Nearly naked save for a cloth around his waist and harness strapped down with weapons) sits alone on one side facing OVERSEER (elderly Therrian dressed in a human-styled business suit) WRAITH (A tall, slender human in a similar garb, with hair and skin the colour of bone) and ORACLE (a wheelchair-bound human child around 8, wrapped in bandages. A featureless mask obscures her face).
GODRA
(POINTING AT ORACLE)
Does that freak have to be here? I hate the way it looks at me.
OVERSEER
Oracle is a party to all that goes on here. And she’s very sensitive, so be nice.
GODRA
Being nice isn’t in my contract. Neither is being blindfolded and hauled down to this friggen rat’s nest. So what the hell do you want?
Overseer takes a candy from his pocket and unwraps it.
OVERSEER (TO ORACLE)
Honey, why don’t you teach this naughty little man some manners?
Godra’s eye narrows. Oracle vigorously shakes her head. Overseer opens a clasp and unhinges the bottom of her mask. Oracle’s face is scarred and burned, and her lips are gone.
OVERSEER (CONT’D)
I know it hurts, Honey. You can make it quick.
He puts the candy between her parted teeth. Oracle chews and looks right at Godra. Godra screams, clutches his head and sags forward onto the table, breathing hard. When prompted by Overseer, Godra receives another shock of pain.
Overseer grabs Godra’s head and gets in his face.
OVERSEER )(CONT’D)
I own you, Godra. You will do what I say, when I say it, and you will be grateful I bother to pay you. (BEAT) I told you to take care of that little brat and torch his apartment before the Piffs got there.
Wraith stiffens and his eyes widen at the news.
OVERSEER (CONT’D)
Again Oracle! (BEAT) You failed, Godra.
GODRA
Like hell. Two Piffs were already inside when I got there.
OVERSEER
All that bravado, all that talk about how you were the best and you couldn’t even take care of two little Piffs.
GODRA
That Animist scank must have sensed me outside. I shot one of them when they spotted me, but I don’t think –
OVERSEER
You were seen?
GODRA
Not really.
OVERSEER
Again, Oracle.
Oracle’s eyes glisten and she whimpers. The Candy is held tight in her clenched teeth.
WRAITH
Enough, Overseer! You’ve made your point.
OVERSEER
(BEAT) Enough, Oracle.
Oracle swallows the candy and Wraith closes her mask, a hand on her shoulder.
OVERSEER (CONT’D)
You’ve turned out to be a disappointing investment, Godra. Perhaps I should send you back to the Silent Rain in little pieces. But then I’d need to find a replacement and I simply can’t afford that.
Godra sits up. His pain is replaced by rage.
OVERSEER (CONT’D)
Don’t mistake Necessity for forgiveness. Your screw-up may well have cost us one of our most profitable resources. If the HPA launches an investigation and we lose any Rapture at all, your life will be worth less than this.
The crumpled candy wrapper bounces off Godra’s face.
OVERSEER (CONT’D)
And if you’re planning on abandoning your contract, let me remind you that while the HPA may no longer be able to track your nanocrystal, we can. (BEAT) Now I want you to go to the warehouse and help Shorom and Gelden start moving Rap. Be quick and this time, be discrete. Depending on the HPA’s conclusions we may have limited time.
WRAITH
Their COA analyst is performing an autopsy as we speak.
OVERSEER
Move it, Godra.
Godra nods, getting to his feet. He looks ready to rip someone’s head off.
INT. HPA HQ: COA LAB – DAY
Alicia, wearing a protective suit and mask slams open a door marked “Chemical & Organic Analysis Lab”.
DR. ILLYANNA NAVARA (female Therrian who is handsome rather than pretty) looks up sharply from an autopsy table on which lies Nick’s body. His heart has been removed, and his brain sits wetly on a drainage tray.
ALICIA
Ugh, I hate meat loaf.
ILLYANNA
You look like you’re having a horrible day, hun.
ALICIA
I’ve had better.
ILLYANNA
Want to talk about it?
ALICIA
It’s just Angeles. He’s been pissy all day.
ILLYANNA
Trouble in paradise. Always knew it was a bad idea to have couples working together.
ALICIA
What? We’re not having problems Illyanna. He was shot.
ILLYANNA
Oh (BEAT) He alright?
ALICIA
He’s fine. The smartskin redistributed the kinetic force, so he’ll have a bruise for a while – What’s going on here? Have you determined the cause of death?
ILLYANNA
(BEAT) Either a heart attack or multiple brain hemorrhages. Hard telling which came first.
ALICIA
Multiple hemorrhages? How does that happen?
ILLYANNA
In this case I think the damage was due to an overload in what appears to be a very damaged, very malformed G-gland.
ALICIA
So he really did have the spark?
ILLYANNA
Sort of. The gland was under-developed to the point that manipulation of any kind should have been impossible.
ALICIA
Should have?
ILLYANNA
Cenns told me about the state of the room he was found in.
ALICIA
Yeah. It looked like someone had grabbed a doll house and shaken it.
ILLYANNA
His G-gland was type A.
ALICIA
An Aurist (BEAT) Huh. But if the gland was so under-developed how could it manipulate the Aura at all, let alone to the degree you are suggesting?
ILLYANNA
Haven’t got a clue. But the gland is mush. The hemorrhages spread out from the gland and extend like a spider web through the rest of the brain. Last time I saw damage like that was when an Energist burnt himself out after going on a killing spree.
ALICIA
Great. Any other good news?
ILLYANNA
Well the heart attack was definitely caused by over-exertion. And There were some rather strange chemicals in his blood, one of which was a high concentration of DZ.
ALICIA
DZ? That sounds familiar.
ILLYANNA
Dio-Zytakine. Manufactured dopamine.
Alicia’s eyes widen.
INT. HPA HQ: CREIDS’ OFFICE – DAY (this is shared by all three of them)
Two family pictures( one of a much younger Shaun and Angeles standing with their mother, and another of Angeles, Alicia and six-year-old THERESA) sit on Angeles’ desk. A translucent crystalline keyboard and screen hovers just over Angeles’ desk.
On the screen, a heading reads ‘Haven Peace-Enforcement Administration Central Database’. A picture of Nick Parker with the following stats: Nicholas Parker (deceased) Height: 5.7. Weight: 160lbs. Age: 26. There is no information written under neither Medical History nor Criminal History.
Angeles slams his hand on the desk. He dawns goggles with facetted crystal eye-lenses and presses a key on the keyboard.
ANGELES
Synchronize HPA central database Encephalon Partition.
P.O.V. ANGELES
View of the room distorts, followed by a flood of coloured light.
INT. ENCEPHALON PARTITION: HPA CENTRAL DATABASE
Angeles, now akin to an insubstantial wraith drifts through an abyss of swirling colours. Thousands of crystalline spheres float in place all around him.
ANGELES
Alright Nick, where are you.
A CLEANER – large, translucent and worm-like with a sucking maw full of glowing green energy – rushes him from the side. Angeles tumbles out of the way, but the creature turns and bears down on him.
END OF ACT TWO
Question for everyone. Tis is a bit of a spoiler. Godra has the ability tto nigate any mental manipulation, such as what Oracle did to him. I have him suffering, but I'm thinking of having him just fake being in pain. What do people think?
Sorry, has the ability to negate.
Anyway, for anyone who's actually gotten this ar. I've decided to just post the rest of this for the sheer hell of it. I can imagine a script was not the best thing to start with on this board, since it's not so much story as it is dialog and directions. I'll be sure to post something more "written" after this.
ACT THREE
INT. ENCEPHALON PARTITION: HPA CENTRAL DATABASE
Angeles rolls to the side, narrowly escaping, and launches himself further away from the cleaner by pushing off of it with his legs.
An energy sword grows out of his right hand as the cleaner rushes him. He dives under its body, turns over on his back and slices the cleaner down the middle in a single motion. The two halves fly in opposite directions and fade away.
Avatar Cenns appears.
CENNS
Forming weaponry outside the Encephalon’s parameters is quite a feat. But did you have to kill it? These things take time to make you know.
ANGELES
I’m so sorry I didn’t feel like being obliterated. Why are there cleaners in our central database in the middle of the friggin day?
A glow engulfs Angeles’ hand as he drifts through the spheres, followed by Cenns.
CENNS
Cleaning day. It isn’t my fault you don’t check your messages. – that chatterbox Is on your desk by the way, though you probably didn’t see it. Now what are you doing in here?
ANGELES
Comparing the deceased’s energy signature with those archived in the database. His regular citizen file seemed a little too clean.
One sphere catches Angeles’ attention.
CENNS
And I suppose you’ll need my help for that?
ANGELES
Hardly.
He grabs a sphere, twists it in half and pulls it apart. A stream of light flows between the two halves, coalescing into a window on which data is written.
CENNS
Show-off.
ANGELES
Who’s this?
The picture looks like nick, but the man has blue eyes and blonde hair. The name is Robert Reed. Text is written under criminal history.
CENNS
Is that him?
ANGELES
Aside from the hair and eyes, his face is identical. Send to terminal.
The window shimmers and Angeles closes the sphere and lets it drift once more.
CENNS
Then would you kindly dive out? I’d really like to put my cleaner back together. Please read your memos from now on.
Angeles nods. The light swirls and the spheres recede at great speed.
INT. HPA HQ: CREIDS’ OFFICE – DAY
The office comes back into focus. Angeles removes the goggles, only to see Shaun looming over him.
ANGELES
Geez! Not so close!
SHAUN
Sorry Bro. You were thrashing around when I came in. What happened?
ANGELES
A cleaner decided I was an unwanted guest.
SHAUN
Why’d you go in there during a cleaning?
ANGELES (MUTTERING)
I didn’t read the memo.
SHAUN
Sorry?
ANGELES
Nothing. So, did you find anything?
SHAUN
Of course! Turns out Naran Zell served three years for identity theft and five for planting false citizen profiles in our database!
ANGELES
Is that right? How long ago was his sentence up?
SHAUN
Hmm (BEAT) Think it was two, maybe three years.
ANGELES
Think we’ll need to have a little chat with Naran.
SHAUN
Why? What happened?
ANGELES
Nick’s citizen profile and that tied to his energy signature don’t match up. Take a look.
Shaun peers at the screen.
SHAUN (READING)
Robert Reed. Age 28. Two counts of drug possession and distribution. One armed robbery. Two acquitted assault charges. Served two years in Haven’s Youth Rehabilitation Center for robbery and five years for the drug distribution. Underwent level 1 behavioral reconditioning following second charge of distribution? Wow.
ANGELES
Looks like the behavioral reconditioning didn’t help much. What would make someone who has served their time want to create a fake identity? It’s illegal and expensive.
SHAUN
Maybe the social stigma attached to such a record?
ANGELES
Possibly. Join us in Rok’s office for a briefing, will you?
SHAUN
Of course. You’ve got me curious.
He turns to leave.
ANGELES
Shaun wait.
SHAUN
What’s up?
ANGELES
I was thinking about the night we found Mom.
INT. CLUTTERED KITCHEN – NIGHT
Cut to the flashback scene from the apartment.
SHAUN
(BEAT) I hate thinking about it. All that blood.
Cut: Angeles and Shaun try to rouse their mother.
ANGELES
Remember how messed up the room was?
SHAUN
Yes (BEAT) We thought someone had broken in, but the doors and windows were locked.
CCUT: Their mother is examined by a doctor.
SHAUN (CONT’D)
But the doctor said she’d overdosed on something with a lot of dia (beat).
ANGELES
Dia-Zytokine. A brain stimulant. A man-made chemical ten times more potent than what you get from a hit of pleasy weed.
INT. HPA HQ: CREID’S OFFICE – DAY
SHAUN
Yeah, that’s right – Angeles, why are you bringing this up?
ANGELES
In the apartment today (BEAT) Shaun it was the same thing. I’m sure of it! The kid was laying there, blood leaking from his nose, mouth and ears. And the place was a mess! Furniture and other debris strewn all over! And he had the Gaia spark, just like mom!
SHAUN
Calm down, Bro. You’re sure your mind wasn’t just reacting to something similar?
ANGELES
Yes I’m sure! You think I’d make that big of a mistake?
SHAUN
No, I didn’t mean it like that.
ANGELES (TAKING A BREATH)
I’m sorry. I’ve been a bit of an ass to everyone today. Seeing him lying there (BEAT) I guess it struck a nerve. But I know what I saw.
SHAUN
I believe you. Hopefully Dr. Navara will find out something.
ALICIA (O.S.)
She did.
Angeles and Shaun look around as Alicia enters.
ALICIA (CONT’D)
We can pool together what we found during the briefing with Rok.
ANGELES
Sure. We might as well head there now – Oh crap. I forgot about this.
He picks up Nick’s chatterbox From his desk.
ALICIA
Would you mind going on ahead Shaun?
SHAUN
Not leaving me out of the loop are you?
ALICIA
You know better than that. It’s a couple thing.
SHAUN
Never mind, I’m gone.
Shaun leaves.
ANGELES
I guess you heard all that.
Alicia nods.
ALICIA
I wish you’d have just told me.
ANGELES
I’m sorry. I know I should have. I guess I didn’t want you to try to talk me out of what I saw. If this is anything like what happened to Mom –
She kisses him.
ALICIA
I know Angeles. And I think it is.
She takes his hand and leads him out of the office.
INT. HPA HQ: VICE-ADMINISTRATOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Angeles, Shaun, Alicia and HPA Vice Administrator MARCELLUS ROXON (ROK) (Human, bald, tall, imposing and black) Watch Seera’s parting words to Nick. Everyone except Alicia looks mildly disgusted.
ANGELES
Well that explains a bit. You can’t get a Therrian pregnant and expect people to shrug it off if they find out. You’d probably be murdered.
SHAUN
Do you think he killed himself?
ANGELES
No. He’s had it saved for six months. I don’t remember any reports of a Therrian being dragged in for an abortion.
ROK
There weren’t any. She must have fled the city. Either that or someone found out and did our work for us.
ANGELES
Think it’s worth trying to track her down?
ALICIA
Hunting down a Therrian who may or may not be carrying the child of a dead human seems like a waste of time right now.
ROK
Normally I’d agree, but she and Naran are our only leads. I’ll have someone find her. Meanwhile, our top priority is to determine the how, rather than the why. Never thought I’d hear myself say that. If there is a connection between Nick – Robert – whatever, and your mother then it means there’s a drug out there that is killing manipulators.
ANGELES
Seems a little early to make an assumption like that. Assuming there is a connection between Robert and Mom, that’s still only two incidents. And Robert’s Gaia spark was so under-developed even the Academy passed him over.
ROK
Administrator Krais came by some rather interesting information. Seems the Consortium of Liberty is manufacturing some drug they’re calling Rapture. It’s been out on the street for about a year and a half now.
SHAUN
That long? And we’ve never heard of it?
ROK
Looks like any old sleeping pill. Plus the method of its distribution is rather exclusive.
ALICIA
So you think if we find out about Rapture we can find the Consortium?
ROK
I wish it were that easy. Krais’s source said that the drug is being used by the Consortium to increase their financial strength.
ANGELES
Surely it can’t be that profitable?
ROK
It’s highly addictive.
ANGELES
What exactly does it do?
ROK
Apparently it Makes an orgasm seem like a stubbed toe.
ALICIA
Sounds nice.
ANGELES
Apparently nice enough to make the Consortium a whole lot of money.
ROK
Exactly. That’s why we have to put a stop to it.
ANGELES
Did Krais say where his information came from?
ROK
No. Guess he’s got a mole on the inside.
ALICIA
Nice of him to tell us. So what do we do now?
ROK
I’m going to send a couple UMD agents to track down Naran Zell. It shouldn’t take long to find him. I want you three to interrogate him.
ANGELES
Understood.
Shaun and Alicia leave, but Marcellus stops Angeles.
MARCELLUS
Listen, son. I know you’re real worked up about this connection between the dead kid and your mom, but if your emotions are going to overpower you like they did back at the Apartment, you’ll end up dead.
ANGELES
Don’t you think I know that? It’s not a switch you can turn off whenever you want.
MARCELLUS
I know. But you have to distance yourself. Don’t let your thoughts wander to the faces and voices around you, even if they belong to those you love. It sounds cruel, but it saves lives.
ANGELES
I’ll try to remember that, Rok.
MARCELLUS
See that you do. You’ve come a long way from the little punk Alicia arrested. I’d hate to see you fall apart after a moment of weakness.
INT the gagging maggot – twilight
The Maggot is full of drunks and rowdy live music. A fight among two burly men has broken out near the door, unobserved by the Maggot’s preoccupied patrons.
Naran Zell is drinking himself into oblivion when UMD agents BARTON and TREVORS (in bulky black and intimidating hard suits) break down the door. The music screeches to a halt; everyone whispers uneasily. One of the fighting men steps in the agents’ way.
FIGHTING MAN 1 (DRUNKENLY)
Hey now. You (BEAT) You can’t just come in here‘n break ol’ Murphy’s door down.
Trevors lifts FIGHTING MAN 1 and throws him into a nearby table which splinters and sends its occupants scrambling to get out of the way.
BARTON
Which one of you festering pukes is Naran Zell?
Naran staggers to his feet.
NARAN (DRUNKENLY)
That’d be me, friends.
TREVORS
Cleanse him.
Barton injects Naran with a syringe. Naran immediately begins to look sick.
NARAN
Hey now. Don’t get all touchy-feely. (BEAT) Ugh, what (BEAT What’s going on?
He begins to sweat.
TREVORS
Just a little something to clean you up.
Naran doubles over, coughing and vomiting as the agents watch from a safe distance.
When it’s over, Barton lifts Naran out of his chair. Naran doesn’t struggle. FIGHTING MAN 2 kneels beside Fighting man 1 who is crying and holding his hand to a bleeding gash above his eye. MURPHEY – the portly human proprietor comes out from behind the bar as the agents head towards the door.
MURPHEY
Hey, what about my door? You guys can’t just leave it like that!
BARTON
Be grateful we didn’t burn this piss-hole down, old timer.
Naran groans as the agents carry him away.
END OF ACT THREE
ACT FOUR
INT. HPA HQ: Interrogation ROOM – DAY
Angeles, Alicia and Shaun find Naran curled on the floor of the bare stone room.
SHAUN
What a stench. They could have cleaned him up.
NARAN
You bastards. (BEAT) What did you do to me?
ANGELES
Had a little shot of cleanse I see. How do you feel?
NARAN
Horrible. I’ve never felt so sober.
ANGELES
I’m so glad.
Angeles grabs Naran’s collar, lifts him to his feet and slams him against the wall.
ANGELES
We don’t like being lied to!
NARAN (TERRIFIED)
I told you all I knew.
Angeles lets Naran go and puts one hand on either side of Naran’s head. Dust and air swirl in his palms. Everyone experiences a slight shortness of breath. Naran shrinks away from the hands.
SHAUN
Bro! You’ll turn his brain to jelly!
ANGELES (TO NARAN)
Yeah. He’ll end up just like his friend Robert!
NARAN
Who?
Angeles moves his hands closer to Naran’s ears.
ALICIA
Angeles!
Shaun puts a hand on Angeles’ arm.
SHAUN
You’ll kill him.
Angeles whirls around. The trapped air floods back into the room, driving everyone a step back. The two brothers stare at one another. Angeles drops his gaze first.
ANGELES
Fine. You deal with him.
Shaun kneels by Naran.
SHAUN
Naran, we don’t think you killed Nick. But we need your help –, look at me.
Naran slowly lifts his head.
SHAUN
Good. Just relax. You were in prison for planting fake profiles in the database. Did you do one for Nick?
Naran studies the agents. They stare back, grim and determined.
NARAN
Yes. But I can explain.
SHAUN
Please do.
NARAN
His name was Robert Reed. He was my cell mate. We talked a lot about going straight. After we were released we moved in together. I went to work for my dad. Robert tried so hard, but nobody would give him a chance. I couldn’t stand seeing him so upset all the time.
ANGELES
So you erased the stains of his past.
NARAN
Yes.
ALICIA
He’s telling the truth.
ANGELES
I know. Did he go straight after that?
NARAN
He did really well for about a year. He got a good job, he even started dating someone.
ALICIA
Who?
NARAN
I never met her.
ALICIA
She was a Therrian. We think he got her pregnant.
NARAN
No kidding?
ANGELES
You don’t seem too put off by that.
NARAN
We Cyrom aren’t super fertile you know. I guess it’s the price we pay for living so long.
Angeles and Shaun roll their eyes.
NARAN
They broke up six months ago. He sounded pretty okay about it, so I didn’t give it much thought.
SHAUN
Where’d he get the drugs, Naran?
NARAN
(BEAT) From me. Nothing major at first. Just a hit of pleasy weed now and then. But then my dealer introduced us to this new drug.
SHAUN
Rapture.
NARAN
Yeah. Man it was great! Like a whole bunch of orgasms all at once!
SHAUN
We need to contact your dealer.
Naran hesitates.
ANGELES
Naran, I understand why you did what you did. The stigma of a criminal history destroys futures. Cooperate and I will see if I can get your sentence for this offense reduced.
Alicia and Shaun look surprised. Naran smiles.
NARAN
You’d really do that?
ANGELES
Think of it as an apology for trying to kill you.
Naran retrieves a crumpled paper and hands it to Shaun.
NARAN
He’s called the Contact. He changes his contact frequency every twenty-four hours. His top clients are e-messaged the frequency for the day. Just tell him I recommended you, and that you need a fix. Obviously don’t show up in uniform.
EXT. LOWER HAVEN STREETS – TWILIGHT
A Hunter, an air rider with a cloaking field descends to an abandoned parking lot. Angeles (wearing civilian clothes and his sword) steps past the perimeter of the field.
ANGELES
That’s close enough. Come on.
Alicia and Shaun join him, and they walk down a crowded street. Everyone gives them plenty of room. Two rough women beat an equally rough-looking teenaged boy senseless in an alley. The agents look in their direction, but move on.
ANGELES
Why the hell does the Guiding Hand turn a blind eye to the Undercity?
SHAUN
If not for the Undercity, Upper Haven would be a lot worse off.
ANGELES
That’s a stupid reason.
Angeles stops.
ANGELES (CONT’D)
We’re close enough. You two stay here and wait for my signal.
ALICIA
Be careful
SHAUN
Yeah. Don’t get shot this time.
ANGELES
Have a little faith.
Angeles walks down the street and into the same dim alley Nick entered.
ANGELES
Hello? Anyone here? (BEAT) Dusk on quiet waters falls.
The stone slides away.
THE CONTACT
Name?
ANGELES
Herald Huber. I’m here to pick up some –
THE CONTACT
I know why you’re here. You bring the creds?
ANGELES
Yeah. I have your creds.
He draws his sword which immediately energizes. A single swing demolishes the wall. The sword powers down when Angeles drops it, reaches in through the opening, grabs the startled Contact and roughly flips him into the light. He is a young Magnian wearing no weapons and only a cloth around his waist.
Angeles whistles, then retrieves his sword which does not energize. He holds the point against the Contact’s eye.
Shaun and Alicia run into the alley.
ANGELES (CONT’D)
You want it paid in full or would you like to live to see tomorrow?
THE CONTACT
Please, Don’t!
ANGELES
Start talking!
THE CONTACT
Okay okay! Just ease up with that sword, alright?
ANGELES
Just pray I don’t sneeze. Now, who supplies you with the Rap?
THE CONTACT
Nobody. I make it myself.
ANGELES applies a little pressure. The Contact whimpers.
THE CONTACT (CONT’D
Okay! Ease up! (BEAT) I don’t know – really! I just distribute it!
ANGELES
I already know who. I want to know where.
THE CONTACT
They don’t tell me anything.
Angeles looks at Alicia who shakes her head. He swiftly severs the tip of the Contact’s pointed ear. He screams.
ANGELES (CONT’D)
Last chance. Where does it come from?
THE CONTACT
The Consortium is right about everything! This isn’t a golden age. Not for us! (BEAT) Phenten Street.
ANGELES
What?
THE CONTACT
There’s a Beanshine warehouse there. The Rap is in the back. The workers have no idea.
ALICIA
He’s telling the truth
ANGELES
Lucky you. Is anyone else dealing?
THE CONTACT
No.
ANGELES
How long have you been dealing Rap?
THE CONTACT
Two years, maybe a bit more
ANGELES
That’s too bad.
He slices off the rest of the Contact’s ear and gets up.
SHAUN
What the hell!
ANGELES
It’s his fault Mom’s dead! Someone call the block patrol to come pick him up before he has an accident.
INT. BEANSHINE WAREHOUSE: BACK ROOM – TWILIGHT.
The room is full of medium-sized wooden crates. Godra speaks with Overseer on a chatterbox while GELDEN and SHOROM (A male and female Therrian respectively) pace.
GODRA
What the hell do you mean “stay here”?
OVERSEER
This is your fault, Godra. The kid led them to the Contact, and the Contact has compromised the warehouse. You will not leave half our supply to those meddling piffs. Salvage the situation.
GODRA
How about a little backup from the Cloudrulers?
OVERSEER
Wraith and the others are unavailable.
GODRA
Great. Disconnect!
The window disappears.
SHOROM
What are we going to do, Godra?
GODRA
Are the other workers still here?
GELDEN
I think so.
GODRA starts to leave.
GELDEN (CONT’D)
What do you need them for?
GODRA
Insurance.
EXT. WAREHOUSE – TWILIGHT
Angeles (in uniform), Alicia, Shaun, Barton and Trevors stand before the warehouse. A few by-standers gather a safe distance away. Rok addresses the agents via vid window.
ROK
The girl was a dead end. Looks like she fled into the Wildlands
ALICIA
On foot?
ROK
Yeah. Left a note and cut out her own Nanocrystal.
SHAUN
Gharlyle be damned. I don’t envy her.
ROK
I agree. Anyway, your top priority is to storm that warehouse and destroy any rap you find. Try to avoid damaging the Beanshine.
SHAUN
You got it, Rok.
ROK
Aluron be with you guys to kick ass. Disconnect.
The window closes.
ANGELES
Barton, Trevors, cordon the area and get those people out of here.
TREVORS
On it, Sir.
The two head towards the crowd of onlookers. Trevors produces a pen-like device and traces a line of light around the perimeter while Barton draws his EPW and waves everyone back.
BARTON
This area is now under the control of the Haven Peace-Enforcement Administration! All civilians will vacate the area immediately!
The bystanders grumble and begin to leave.
ANGLE ON ONE SIDE OF THE WAREHOUSE where the agents approach the reinforced warehouse door.
INT. BEANSHINE WAREHOUSE: MAIN SUPPLY ROOM – TWILIGHT
The boxes in this room are much larger and more numerous. Godra bursts in with an EPW in each hand.
GODRA
Into the security office! Move!
Eight people (five men, one woman and two children) franticly head towards a door. Godra follows, his weapons trained on them. One of the men suddenly bolts for the exit. Godra shoots him in the head. The woman cries and screams.
GODRA
Shut up! Keep moving!
END OF ACT FOUR
ACT FIVE
EXT. BEANSHINE WAREHOUSE – TWILIGHT
The agents check their weapons.
ANGELES (TO SHAUN)
See if your terminal can interface with the building’s security hub. I want to know what we’re getting into.
Shaun taps a button on a silver wrist gauntlet. A translucent keyboard and screen coalesce. He taps a few keys, and unreadable red text covers the screen. He keeps typing.
ALICIA
I can’t sense anyone in there.
ANGELES
So there’s nobody inside?
ALICIA
I can sense (BEAT) something. But it’s like I’m being blocked by some sort of mental white noise.
SHAUN
The security system is encrypted from within its Encephalon partition.
ANGELES
Should have had our backup bring a dive unit. Cenns!
Avatar Cenns appears.
CENNS
Do you have to shout? You nearly gave me a heart attack.
ANGELES
You don’t have a heart.
CENNS
Just because it isn’t flesh yet doesn’t mean –
ANGELES
Patch us into the building’s security system, please.
CENNS
More grunt work? Why don’t you ever summon me for any interesting jobs?
Cenns looks at the building.
P.O.V. – CENNS
A Blue haze, distorted into a vaguely recognizable shape of the warehouse. A pulsating red sphere lies in its center.
CENNS
Well now this is interesting. This Encryption system was set up by an Avatar. Finally, a challenge!
ANGELES (O.S.)
Great. So the Consortium has their own Avatar. Can you crack it?
CENNS
My access to the Encephalon is limitless.
ANGELES (O.S.)
Just crack that encryption.
Cenns dives through the red core, avoiding spheres of light that fly towards him in complex patterns.
ALICIA drops to her knees, gritting her teeth.
ALICIA
I’ve (BEAT) almost got it. There’s an animist in there but she’s really (BEAT) weak! There!
INT. BEANSHINE WAREHOUSE: SECURITY OFFICE – TWILIGHT
Shorom screams and clutches her head.
SHOROM
She’s too strong! I can’t keep her out!
GODRA
Doesn’t matter. They’ll probably take control of the security system soon anyway.
GELDEN
No! Damn Piffs aren’t going to let us off with just a pull on the tail for this. We’re talking hard time.
GODRA
They won’t do a damn thing as long as we have these walking meat sacks.
He gestures to the cowering hostages.
SHOROM
A few years in a detention center sounds a hell of a lot better than dying in this piss hole.
GODRA
Feel free to turn yourselves in and wait for your death sentence. You two are accessories to murder.
Shorom and Gelden’s tales droop and they exchange a frightened look. One of the hostages – an OLD MAN – cautiously approaches.
OLD MAN
Please, if it’s money you want, I have lots! You can have it all –
Godra tail-whips the man in the throat.
GODRA
You couldn’t afford me.
The old man stumbles towards TWO CHILDREN who scream and run for the door. Godra casually draws a creamer.
EXT. BEANSHINE WAREHOUSE – TWILIGHT
The team watches Shaun’s screen.
CENNS
Got it. Honestly that was far too easy.
Shaun’s screen shows a view of:
INTERCUT INT. WAREHOUSE: SECURITY OFFICE – TWILIGHT
Godra aims at the fleeing children. Shorom clutches his arm.
The creamer discharges a liquid stream that covers both children. They scream for a split second as their bodies melt into sludge. Shorom and Gelden gaze down and horror; Godra looks at a mounted security camera and mouths the word “oops”.
ALICIA
No! They’re just kids!
ANGELES
Shit. Move people! We’re going in!
SHAUN
NO. he’s got others.
Angeles examines Godra carefully
ANGELES
Godra. I’ll be damned. I wondered when I’d see his ugly face again.
SHAUN
Who?
ANGELES
One of the Silent Rain’s mercs. He’s wanted for enough murder and destruction to fill a novel. This just got a lot more complicated.
(TO SHAUN)
Patch into the building’s PA system and be sure to mute us. We’ll have to negotiate, but I want to know what’s going on in there first.
Shaun begins to type. A building schematic partially obscures the view of the office.
SHAUN (CONT’D)
I’ve already shut down their internal security systems. This place was equipped with all sorts of nasty surprises. I’ve disabled them, but that door is locked with one of those old-fashioned key locks. No way of opening it short of destroying it – there, we’ve got audio –
A central room on the schematic becomes highlighted in green, and a piercing screech of feedback cuts Shaun off. The three Cyrom react to the noise.
ANGELES
Turn the damn volume down!
A series of button presses quiets the feedback, and the green illumination turns gray.
SHAUN
Well that certainly got their attention. Sorry.
GELDEN
Shorom was right! We should have just given up!
GODRA
Right on schedule. Persistant little rodents.
SHOROM
You sound like you’re happy!
GODRA
We can’t make demands if they can’t hear us.
GODRA looks into the camera.
GODRA (CONT’D)
Listen up, piffs. You will park a carrier outside the entrance, and we’ll climb aboard and fly off into the sunset, so to speak. We will kill one hostage every hour until you obey us. Since you’ve already kept us trapped here for a while, I’d say you have about fifteen minutes until I melt this young lady’s heart.
ANGELES
Not going to happen.
ALICIA
What?
ANGELES
If the Consortium is behind Rapture, Godra might lead us right to them
ALICIA
So we let him go, and then follow him!
SHAUN
I’ve got an idea, but I have to get inside.
ANGELES
What, you think they’ll just open the door and let you wander in?
SHAUN
What’s their disposition Alicia.
ALICIA
That merc is calm, but the other two are terrified.
SHAUN
Good. The Therrians shouldn’t be a problem if I can calm them. That just leaves Godra. I’m going to try to convince him to leave.
ANGELES
That’s nuts!
SHAUN
Yep.
Shaun hits a button and the gray area on the schematic turns green.
SHAUN
Godra, this is Agent Shaun Creid. I’m here to help.
GODRA
Sure you are. If you know my name then you know better than to screw with me.
SHAUN
Here me out. I want to make a trade. My life in your hands, for the hostages.
ALICIA AND ANGELES
No!
GODRA
I already have enough insurance.
SHAUN
You know I’m worth ten times more than any civilian.
GODRA
You have a point. (BEAT) Alright, piff. Strip to your underwear and approach the door.
SHAUN
What?
GODRA
One minute, or the woman dies.
Shaun mutes their side, removes the gauntlet from his arm and passes it to Alicia
ANGELES
What do you think you’re doing? You don’t expect him to release them after he has you?
Shaun deactivates the smartskin uniform and removes his badge, weapons belt and clothes during the conversation.
SHAUN
No. But I know what I’m doing.
ANGELES
I don’t like this. You’re being way too reckless.
SHAUN
Mom died so the Consortium could get dirty money. No way in hell I’m letting this garbage kill anyone else.
ANGELES
You were always the best of us, Shaun. Be careful.
Shaun, now stripped to his underwear steps towards the warehouse entrance.
SHAUN
I always am. Ready your stun rods for when he comes out.
He knocks. The door opens, a furry arm seizes Shaun and pulls him inside.
The team watches Godra drag Shaun into the security office and close the door.
SHAUN
Okay, let these people go.
He looks over at Shorom and Gelden.
SHAUN (CONT’D)
All of them.
GODRA
No.
SHOROM
You said you’d let them go.
GODRA
The truth is a luxury my bank account can’t afford. You think I don’t know what you’re trying to do? I can feel you working on my mind right now. It kind of tickles.
Godra smiles.
ANGELES
You bastard!
GODRA
I’m not stupid. But still, I really must thank you.
SHAUN
Thank me?
GODRA
You’ve given me a way out of this little stand-off.
The creamer is suddenly in Godra’s hand.
ANGELES
Get down!
Godra sprays Shaun who screams as his body dissolves. Angeles screams and runs for the door.
ANGELES
This isn’t happening!
ALICIA
He’s killing them!
Everyone follows Angeles’s lead.
On the screen, Godra pulls his sword from the old man’s sagging body and slaughters the nearest hostage. The woman has already fallen.
Angeles lunges at the door. Three strikes from an energized Stormblade demolishes it. Alicia, Trevors and Barton draw their weapons and follow.
INT. WAREHOUSE: SECURITY OFFICE – TWILIGHT
Angeles kicks open the door and enters left. Alicia goes right and Barton and TREVORS establish a perimeter. All of the hostages are dead.
Godra’s first EPW shot hits Trevors in the shoulder, the second is absorbed by Stormblade. The blade deenergizes, and Godra ducks behind Shorom and Gelden who are petrified.
All four agents fire back, killing Shorom and Gelden. An energy shield emanating from Godra’s wrist gauntlet absorbs the remaining force of the shots. The agents put away their guns, but keep their swords.
ANGELES
Drop the weapons asshole!
GODRA
Angeles Creid! You’ve grown up! Still a stubborn little prick though.
ALICIA
Do it!
GODRA
Sorry, I don’t take orders from you.
Godra drops to the floor and throws a small white sphere at Angeles’s feet. Angeles looks down, and the sphere explodes, producing a blinding light and ear-splitting sound that drives the agents to their knees. Godra runs.
EXT. WAREHOUSE – TWILIGHT
Godra bolts from the warehouse and crashes through the security beam. He skirts the HPA carrier and disappears into the Hunter’s cloaking field.
INT. WAREHOUSE: SECURITY OFFICE – TWILIGHT
The light has faded. Angeles punches a security monitor. Alicia puts a hand on his shoulder. She is crying.
ANGELES
It was all for nothing! They’re all dead!
ALICIA
I’m sorry Angeles. (BEAT) I’m so sorry.
ANGELES
He was always the best of us.
Angeles’s sword energizes. the wind and lightning are fiercer than ever.
ALICIA
What’re you doing! He’s getting away!
ANGELES
Completing the damned mission.
He begins destroying the security equipment. His face is set in a mask of agony and concentration.
ALICIA
Stop it Angeles! You’re hurting yourself!
ANGELES
I don’t care.
THE CHRONICLER (V.O.)
Peace (BEAT) to those who hurt, to those who suffer, it is only a word.
Fires break out, and the sword absorbs them.
INT. WAREHOUSE: SUPPLY AREA – TWILIGHT
Alicia runs, followed by Barton who supports Trevors. Angeles, whose sword is now engulfed in flame, cuts at the walls and wooden boxes. Flames fill the room.
THE CHRONICLER (V.O.)
And to those whom it abandons, it is only an illusion.
EXT. BEANSHINE WAREHOUSE –NIGHT
Angeles stumbles through the door, framed by the glow of the roaring blaze in his wake. Tears stream down his cheeks.
THE CHRONICLER (V.O.)
And to those whom it abandons, it is only an illusion. Without its protection, they may begin to see the world through a searing fire that has no end.
Alicia catches Angeles as he falls, supporting him as the four of them walk away.
EXT. HAVEN MEMORIAL CEMETARY – DAY
Angeles, Alicia, THERESA, Marcellus, Illyanna and others gather around a whole, where a closed casket is being lowered.
THE CHRONICLER (V.O.)
To Angeles Creid, the loss of a loved one was the worst kind of abandonment.
The scene shifts, the hole is nearly filled. Angeles, his face forcibly calm scoops the last shovel full of dirt into the hole.
THE CHRONICLER(V.O.)
And the burning desire for vengeance, the most damning fire.
Alicia holds Angeles close.
ANGELES
I couldn’t save him. After all he did for me, , I just stood there and watched him die.
ALICIA
Shaun did what he thought was best for everyone. You couldn’t have known, and you couldn’t have stopped it.
ANGELES
I knew. The lives of others mean nothing to Godra. I knew the danger, and I let him go.
Angeles gently pushes Alicia away.
ANGELES (CONT’D)
I want you to quit the HPA.
ALICIA
What?
ANGELES
There’s something I have to do, and I need to know you and Theresa are safe.
ALICIA
What are you saying?
ANGELES
The consortium preaches true peace, and freedom from a government they deem corrupt. But this is the grim reality. Rapture, people like Godra (BEAT) That cannot be allowed. They will all suffer for their crimes. Starting today.
INT. CONSORTIUM OF LIBERTY HQ – DAY
Oracle giggles. Wraith and Overseer look on uncertainly.
ORACLE
The shattered wolf travels a road paved with sin and regret. The harlots dance behind a veil of light while the lost ones come forth and die in their ignorance. Beware (BEAT) beware the bitter fruit brought forth into the world of men by misguided hands. The great city rent asunder by he whose soul is shattered by the collapse of everything he ever loved.
WRAITH
What’s she saying?
OVERSEER
Who knows. Oracle’s prophecies sometimes make sense only to her.
End of episode.
Well now that I've giventhis board the allusion of being more popular than it in truth is, I'll end of here. Thanks for those of you who made it this far. Please let me know what you think, and any suggestions you have, if you have the time.
Take care
Guardian
Nobody? Damn. Well I gess it is a lot to slog through. Scripts always make better movies then actual reading
Well, I guess I'm somebody. Anyway, read through the entire thing and then had to sign back in to post this as I got timed out. I really like this. Though there isn't much desription of the scenery, the action makes up for it and the dialogue. I like the use of description of the meotions and the weaponry. It seems now that Angelus now has nothing left to live for except revenge; that is if he can convince his wife to leave the force. She could become a target if Angelus becomes a problem for the drug lords. Also, I hope we're going to find about Oracle's background and what happened to her. She's one little mystery in all this. As for Grodra faking the pain from Oracle, I kind of feel like that should be real, especailly if he's really that dangerous and if the Over-seer wants to keep his life and control over things, but it's up to you. As for spelling mistakes, I didn't spot any and I won't mess with the dialogue as that's how it should be. There are some incomplete sentences, but that's part of the text as one starts a thought and another fills in something so it works, plus the structure works well in this. You did a really good job of describing the ending with the remorse and regret that Angelus feels at allowing his brother to go in the building and his guilt about it and his subsequent rage over his brother's death. Angelus blames himself and people who are in revenge mode get careless and the drug lords might be watching for that.
Anyway, this is well written, the flow is good. Nice work.
Chastity
Thank you for your comments Chinchillac. There will definately be more about Oracle, and what happened to her. it's actually a pretty twisted story. I appreciate your other comments, and thank you especially for taking the time to make them. You give me hope.
With great thanks
Guardian
Oooooh definitely keep writing. I love it. I read it all really quickly, and hated to see the first episode end... I want more. lol
Thank you Leia, I am glad you enjoyed it. Not sure if I'll be writing more scripts for this since this was just or class, but you never know. Either way there's an actual novel which has much better writing and descriptions that I might post as I write it. Again, thanks
Guardian
You should post it in separate chapters if it'll be this big. Its starting to take a while to load.
Yeah, I think I might do that. I originally didn't want to clog up the boards, but then I realized that it would start to take a while. Besides, the writing board seems to be rather dead overall.